At The Picture Show   by Chris Bellamy

Read more by Chris Bellamy

Beowulf
Paramount Pictures
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Screenplay: Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary, based on the epic poem
Starring: Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Brendan Gleeson, Robin Wright Penn, Crispin Glover, John Malkovich, Alison Lohman and Angelina Jolie
Rated PG-13 / 1 hour, 53 minutes
Opened November 16, 2007
(out of four)

Motion-capture is for giant monkeys and fictional creatures. Not for humans. You see, the thing about giant monkeys and fictional creatures is, they don't really exist. So when you have a professional actor creating movement, expression, emotion and violence for, say, King Kong or Gollum, it can be magic.

The thing about humans is, real humans are invariably better than fake ones. Robert Zemeckis has not yet learned this. After subjecting us to the nightmare-inducing horror of the dead-eyed animatronic zombie freaks in The Polar Express, he has returned to motion-capture to adapt the legendary epic poem Beowulf in similar form. The good news? Unlike his last effort, Beowulf actually has a story and digital Aerosmith does not make an appearance. The bad news? Motion-capture is still an embarrassment.

I don't question Zemeckis' talent - only his motivation for insisting on using this technique. I understand it's new, it's different, it's advanced, and people want to play around with it. And creating an entire movie with motion-capture and computer animation adds a whole new level to directorial control. Theoretically, he can do anything he wants.

Except, of course, get beyond the extreme limitations this new freedom subsequently provides. The facts are these: Human characters created through motion-capture cannot express emotion, they do not move like humans, their eyes do not look like they're actually looking at anything; in short, they do not have any of the nuances that make humans human. Instead, they look like cheap wax statues that happen to walk and talk - perhaps operated by remote control or something. Since real and well-known actors are being used, Beowulf is made even more distracting. Instead of seeing Anthony Hopkins, Angelina Jolie and Co., we get crappy digital versions of Anthony Hopkins, Angelina Jolie and Co. The technology is stuck in a sort of middle ground, where it's trying so hard to replicate reality that it only ends up drawing attention to how fake it looks. Disney and Warner Bros. cartoons from the 1940s are more emotionally expressive, and I'm not exaggerating.

This is progress?

The real frustration is how unnecessary it is in the first place. Recent movies like Sin City, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and 300 have used similar filmmaking techniques - green screen, sets and backgrounds created by digital artists, stylized animated environments - and have blended real actors in perfectly with their surroundings. The characters, the costumes, the sets, the CGI - it's all been in sync. If those movies can do it with real actors - actors who can actually express something - why can't Beowulf?

I know - that's not what Zemeckis wanted to do. Fine. But his way doesn't work. His characters look like junk. It's most obvious during the scenes that are supposed to be emotionally dramatic. We know what we're supposed to feel, but we're getting absolutely nothing from the characters. Instead, it feels like we're watching a scene from a video game.

The one major exception in Beowulf - tellingly - is Grendel, the sound-sensitive monster who wreaks vengeance on Hrothgar's (Hopkins) kingdom. Like everyone else, Grendel was created using motion-capture with Crispin Glover. Since he doesn't have the handicap of being a human character, he comes across naturally and wonderfully. We notice the great visual design of the creature, and his big entrance - as he tears apart the mess hall - might be the best scene in the film.

Beowulf (Ray Winstone) is the boastful warrior who comes to Hrothgar's mead hall, Heorot, to kill the beast, and winds up under the spell of Grendel's mother, played by Jolie. (Who I believe has now done the exact same accent in three movies, Alexander, A Mighty Heart and now Beowulf. I think it's called "Foreign Person Accent, Regardless of Country of Origin.")

Even if the script is somewhat undercooked, there's enough of a story there to get over the narrative limitations. Zemeckis and cinematographer Robert Presley definitely have a sense of the world they've created - the fluid camerawork helps introduce us to a digital world that is actually quite nicely designed.

But even during the action sequences, Zemeckis gets in his own way. When Beowulf fights Grendel, he's completely naked the entire time. But instead of allowing for a possible R rating or changing the scene by slapping a loincloth on the guy, the filmmakers decide to find a bunch of ways to not-so-subtly hide, shadow or cover up his manhood. It's so obvious and laughable, and draws so much attention to itself, that it takes away from the scene. (On a side note, there was a brilliant naked fight scene in this year's Eastern Promises, which never tried to hide anything to appease a ratings board, and it's one of the most gripping action scenes I've seen in a long time. But I digress...)

I admire that someone like Zemeckis is trying to push the technological envelope, but as of right now, it's only working against him. His 1988 masterpiece Who Framed Roger Rabbit was ahead of its time and has aged as well as just about anything from the '80s. Neither Beowulf nor The Polar Express will do the same.